Personalising a Funeral


The Funeral Service can be further personalised by the playing of a personal selection of music. Most crematoria (as well as churches) have an organ and they also increasingly have facilities for playing CD’s.
Musicians can play during a service, at the graveside or at the gathering. Scottish pipers, New Orleans-style jazz bands and string quartets can perform at funerals.
A Eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises someone highly and is delivered at a funeral.

Writing and giving a eulogy is a way of saying farewell to someone who has died that, in a sense, brings the person to life in the minds of the audience. For the majority of us writing and giving a eulogy is something we have no experience of and therefore we find it difficult to know where to start. 

Your minister is best placed to offer you advice, but as a helpful guide the following may be of assistance in preparing a Eulogy:
  • When and where was the deceased born
  • Nicknames and / or names known to others
  • Parents names – where they met and married
  • Brothers and sisters
  • Early childhood – localities and interests
  • Schools attended, awards gained
  • Academic or trade qualifications and achievements
  • Some interesting stories about childhood days
  • Details of any war or military service
  • Details of marriages, divorces, children, significant relationships
  • Details of grandchildren / great grandchildren
  • Details of any Club memberships, position held
  • Details of sporting achievements
  • Details of hobbies / interests, travel, crafts etc.
  • Details of historical significance
  • Preferences, likes and dislikes
  • Details of activities e.g. music, theatre etc.
  • Any special stories, sayings, qualities.
Think about individual contributions such as an address from a member of your family which could be in the form of a religious reading, a poem or perhaps a favourite story.
Carrying the Coffin
This can be discussed when making the funeral arrangements.
Involving friends and family
Encouraging mourners to take an active part in the ceremony is another way of personalising. Ask them to bring a token, a flower, note or card and lay it on the coffin.
Writing an obituary
Obituaries are usually published in local or national newspapers and this is something, as your funeral director, we can help you with. It is a way of informing many people about the death of your loved one and can include the date, time and location of the funeral. It is also a good way to announce the charity chosen by the family to enable people to make donations, especially if an online donation site has been set up.
Finding a Reception venue
The funeral reception serves a practical purpose, to refresh the mourners who may have travelled some distance and are in need of sustenance. But it also, most importantly, provides an opportunity for family and friends to congregate and reminisce.

A function room in a public house, hotel or community centre may be chosen for a reception. Sometimes a residential home will also have facilities. Although there will be a charge for these amenities it is often worth it to avoid the hassle of preparing food and tidying up afterwards at home. However, having friends and family in your own home can be more relaxing and comforting and there will usually be some willing hands to help with serving drinks and the washing up.
Call A L & G Abbott 01234 843 222. 

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